Beta kuchh khate kyun nahin?

Discovery is the channel to look out for. If nothing else it'll save me the sighs every time I hear "beta kuchh khate kyun nahin?"
Some scientists have concluded that people can be fat without eating too much or thin in spite of eating normally. Its got something to do with metabolism rate, fat storage, etc etc.... you get the picture. Anyway, no point explaining all this to you now. I am a changed person now. Even I have started eating, hogging on every specimen that mankind is known to digest. As someone rightly said, "If you believe in something with all your heart, the whole world conspires to prove you wrong."

Don't believe it? Well, then read on.

I hear it from my mom almost on an hourly basis. Protest, mild consternation followed by flattery does the trick of calming her vehement protests about my eating habits.

Old aunts invariably start their conversations wondering aloud whether food was a scarcity in Madras, and how on earth am I supposed to find a girl and marry with a figure like that (most of them don't yet know that half the job is already done :P ). In such cases, I just let out a sigh, raise my hands upwards transferring all the blame to the almighty above. Never argue with old aunts, experience speaking.

Then there is dad who starts the topic by saying how he used to be when he was my age. Now I can't remember the last time when dad saw eye to eye with me or vice versa. Now, I have observed that there is a certain age beyond which it feels as if dads say the opposite thing just to contradict you and the feeling is mutual. The chance of winning an argument against your dad is always very alluring, so I try to expalain my views on the subject. Ultimately mom becomes the peacemaker and the debate whether I eat enough comes to an end without any conclusion.

At least one gets to open his mouth and argue with dad. Not so with girlfriend. She goes on and on about what i should eat, how I should eat, when I should eat ad infinitum. By the time I try to get a word or two edgeways she has moved on to another topic (Why doesn't a beautician open her parlour on weekdays in the campus?).

However the most embarrasing one has to be the chat wala incident last night. I had had a big, really big lunch and so was not in a mood to eat any more after having two sweets. But this friend of mine gets two plates of alu tikki chat and I had a tough time finishing it. You'll sympathize with me if I tell you that a dinner awaited me at home five minutes later, and try telling mom that you can't finish your dinner because you have had aloo tikki chat from a thela.

Eventually I had to call the friend for help. The glutton that he is, he had finished his plate by the time I was taking my second spoon! Now the chat wala saw this. "Can't finish it son?" he asked. "Well no wonder, you look like that. Beta kuchh khate kyun nahi?"